Things I've never been able to say Ushii X Tora
by LilMissAqua
Summary: A letter might be a little underrated as a way to express affection to someone but it's probably the last piece of hope that a certain warrior has to say everything she always wanted to say but never managed to have the guts to do it.


It was a cold winter night, small snowdrops fell from the sky as the streets were covered in a white duvet of snow, making the scenario astonishing as it was freezing. A petite figure made their way through the darkness of the night, hiding under a long jacket in order to get some warmth. The destiny was somewhere familiar and that was the night where her feelings were going to be completely exposed in a small letter that was hidden carefully in her jacket, being carried as if it was fragile glass and could break at any time.

It didn't take too long until she reached the condominium that she was looking for and after she typed the code at the entrance to open the front door, she was in and continuing her way to the particular apartment she was looking for. Her legs started to shake with each step she took towards the door she had as the target. It was crazy how she was treating this simple thing of giving a letter as the most dangerous mission and instead of a piece of paper there was a bomb on her hands.

She stared at the door in front of her in silence. It was almost as if she was a shadow wondering around the dead silent hallways and the defining silence made her more nervous than she already was. Carefully as if someone could hear her, she kneeled down and slowly made the letter go past the small gap between the door and the ground.

After that, she forgot all about the silence and the delicacy of moving without leaving any trace and rushed away from there even without any place to go but she was afraid that the letter's recipient would find her and that her plan would be all ruined.

Eiji got out of the bathroom, still trying to dry his wet long dark hair with a towel from the shower he had just taken when he noticed something going past his door. On the floor, there was a small envelope with his name only, and he still could hear some footsteps running on the hallway but when he managed to open the door to try to see the responsible for the letter, nobody was on the hallway already.

With some confusion, he closed the door again and bent down to grab the paper, analyzing it to see if there was any more information about who could have sent it. The handwriting was the first thing that called out his attention: it was messy and it seemed that it was written in a rush, there was something already familiar about it.

The letter's handwriting wasn't much better and actually seemed messier than before but it was still able to be read so he couldn't really complain. Again, there was no signature from the one that had to send it but maybe something would say about it along the long text that was written.

Eiji went to sit down on the couch, still drying his hair that took way too long to dry with one hand while the other held the letter that had now his focus.

« I have absolutely no idea of how to say this... So that's the reason of why I'm writing you. I'm not good with words as you know by now so don't be expecting a really detailed kinda of stuff. To put this simple, I want to thank you. Thank you for everything you do and did for me. It's thanks to you that I have something worth to keep fighting and even living... If it weren't for you... I don't even know where would I be by now. Probably dead if I think about it.

Either way, I should start by mentioning that this feeling that I have started way long ago, back when you saved me for the first time, believing I was an innocent child lost in a battlefield. Your logic made me realize how chaotic my life had turned without me even noticing and, honestly the most rational emotion to feel at that moment should probably be envy as you knew what you were doing and I just a lost soul, traveling without any direction, but instead I instantly admired you. You became my inspiration, my idol, my savior.

I changed everything because of your small speech that was so simple yet complex at the same time. I wanted to become someone that you would also admire and actually acknowledge. Even if our first meeting was short, your image never left my mind. I wanted to see you so badly that I would even not drink for a whole year if necessary.

No amount of alcohol is enough to describe how much you actually mean to me and believe me, that is a lot coming from someone like me. To be honest, when I wrote this I was probably half-drunk so... Yeah, somethings won't make any sense and others will be all the things I always wanted to say so just read this, please. You should already know who sent you this, I mean, it's not that hard, but still... Putting my name would be too embarrassing so if you want just pretend you never received this and we'll just live our lives like nothing ever happened.

Going back to the letter and straight to the point... The last thing I probably should write here is the true reason of why I've written this. The words I just can't seem to bring myself to tell you no matter how much I want...

I love you.»

The letter ended there, with those three words that kept Eiji's attention on them, his heart actually skipping a beat while reading them. It wasn't the first time he'd heard those words, just never towards him; who would ever say that to a genius of killing?

He took a deep breath as he tried to keep his natural composed posture but a small smile constantly kept growing on his lips. Putting the letter on the nearby table, he got up and went to grab his jacket before leaving the warm house to go to the cold night outside, with the clock rounding almost midnight but that didn't matter. He didn't like leaving business unsolved and this time wasn't an exception.

The snow kept falling without stopping for what seemed hours and hours but Kanae didn't seem bothered by that, she had too much on her mind to get worried about useless stuff.

She took one last sip of her beer before putting the can on the bridge's handrail while staring at the frozen lake beneath her. The cold air unconsciously sent shivers down her spine but again, she was too focused on her thoughts to care about it.

The trail of thoughts only stopped when she heard footsteps getting closer and she didn't need to turn around as she already knew who those steps belonged to as her heartbeat started beating way faster than it should on its own.

"What are you doing here...?" She asks without turning around to face him, even knowing the answer by herself. She knew he had read the letter. She knew he wanted answers, at least more answers to those that she had already fully exposed on the paper she had delivered.

But he doesn't reply to her, instead, she feels strong, warm arms wrapping around her middle and her back being pressed against his figure, which didn't help to calm her heart.

There was only silence between them and that was enough. Kanae eventually managed to relax into the hug and lean into the warmth provided by Eiji's body, smiling gently with her eyes closed as she started to think this was all just an effect of the alcohol but then again she didn't have drunk anything else than that single can of beer so that would be almost impossible. When Eiji felt the woman in his arms finally returning the affection he started speaking.

"Your handwriting is still awful."

She chuckled and turned her face to look at him, her emerald eyes had a special glitter that showed her excitement and adoration she had confessed on the letter and that now he could definitely recognize as the same glitter of that girl that he had saved once in a battlefield "That's the only thing you can say?"

Eiji showed a smile under her stare, noticing how her cheeks were adorned in a pinkish color, either from the alcohol or due to their proximity, or even both "Words aren't really necessary"

With that he closed the gap between them, gently placing his lips on hers, so gentle that it was almost felt but as Kanae returned the kiss there was more pressure into it, her hand going to his cheek to shift to a more comfortable position.

Kanae had never expected that the so-called perfect kiss would exist and she wasn't sure if this could be called that way but she could only think that with that kiss she'd finally felt complete, everything made sense just for finally being able to share a kiss with the one that gave her motivation to move on. It just felt like that moment that you were waiting without even noticing and you can really just think ´Finally´.

The cold night had turned into one of the best nights they both could remember, not just because of the kiss or the fact they were definitely closer now but also due to the fact that both had now been able to freely share their feelings instead of just containing them for themselves.

Words were never Kanae's specialty and there were many things that always got blocked from being shared. Her feelings had ever been something she had kept to herself, her depression, her angst with life, her mental crisis,... Those were things she had never been able to say to anyone but, for once, she was happy to have managed a way to express everything she desired to shout out, all of her affections were now free and shared.

A letter might not be the most creative confession idea but when you have things you'll never be able to say out loud, as long as you want to be heard every window can be turned into a door.


End file.
